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缩短状语与被修饰对象之间的距离例析
作者:管理员    发布于:2012-06-22 20:31:45    文字:【】【】【

缩短状语与被修饰对象之间的距离例析

 

1.它(马克思主义)莖里历史唯物主义揭示了人类社会发展的规律。(《邓选》)

译文 1 It has uncovered the law governing the development of human society by using histrical materialism. (《北京周报》)

译文 2 Using historical materialismit has uncovered the laws governing the development of human society. (外文出版社)

评析:《北京周报》译文中的by using可能修饰society, development, governinglawIt has uncovered 中的任何一个。 但根据中文原文,by using应修饰距其最远的It has uncovered。外文出版社译文将Using historical materialism移前,与it靠近,修饰关系便显得比较清楚了。

 

2.对供方提供或者传授的专有技术和有关技术资料,受方应当按照合同约定的范围和期限承担保密义务。(《合同管理条例施行细则》)

译文 1 The recipient shall undertake the obligations to keep confidential for know-how and relevant information provided or imparted by the supplier in accordance with limits and duration as agreed in the contract.  (1992 年译本)

译文 2 A recipient shall undertake the obligation to keep confidentialin accordance with the scope and duration agreed on in the contract, the proprietary technology and related technical information provided or imparted by the supplier. (澳大利亚译本)

评析:在译文1中,in accordance with应修饰远处的keep confidential(顺便指出,confidential后的for应删去),但由于两者之间的距离过长,读者可能误以为in accordance with修饰两者之间的 provided or imparted

译文2使用插入法,把in accordance with插入在keep confidential… the proprietary technology 之间,也即使之靠近 keep confidential。这样,修饰关系便没有歧义了。

 

3.如果该技术引进合同系委托跨地区的其他公司对外签订的, 在征得委托方所在地的授权审批机关同意后,可以由签约地的授权审批机关审批。(《合同管理条例施行细则》)

译文 1: If the technology import contracts are concluded by other trans-regional companies through entrustmentthey may be examined and approved by the authorized examining and approving authorities of the spot where the entrustees are located with the consent of the entrusters local authorized examining and approving authorities. (1992 年译本)

译文 2 If another company in a different district is commissioned to sign the technology import contract with the foreign partythe authorized examining and approving organ of the local district of the party signatory to the contract may examine and approve the said contract, subject to approval from the authorised examining and approving organ of the local district of the commissioning party.(澳大利亚译本)

评析:在译文1中,with引导的状语理应修饰may be examined and approved,但其间距离太长,相隔15个字,有些读者可能误以为 with修饰附近的located

译文2重新调整了全句结构,使subject to(相当于译文1 with)may examine and approve之间距离缩短,相互间的语义关系 也就更清晰了。

 

4.(没有对外技术引进经营权的公司、企业、团体或者个人)引进技术时,应当委托具有对外技术引进经营权的公司、企业对外签订技术引进合同,并出具委托书。(《合同管理条例施行细则》)

译文 1: To import technologycompanies, enterprises, institutions or individuals with no right to do technology import business with abroad shallwith a letter of commissionentrust those companies and enterprises with such rights to conclude technology import contracts, (1992 年译本)

译文 2: When a companyenterprise, group or individual which is not authorised to engage in import of technology from abroad imports technologyit shall commission a company or enterprise which is authorised to import technology from abroad to sign a technology import contract with the foreign party and shall provide a power of attorney.(澳大利亚译本)

评析:在译文 1 中,To import technology conclude technology import contracts的目的状语,但两者一个在句首,一个在 句末,位置相隔太远,不合理。

译文2将其转为When引导的从句加上主句,这样imports technology sign a technology import contract 之间不存在直接的 修饰关系,也即不存在修饰关系不清的问题了。但两者之间是有语义联系的,而且两者相距较近,容易看懂。

 

5.我们创造性地实现了由新民主主义到社会主义的转变,全面确立了社会主义的基本制度,使占世界人口四分之一的东方大国进入了社会主义社会。(80周年)

译文 1 We have creatively materialized the transformation from new democracy to socialism and established the basic system of socialism in an all-round way, enabling this big country in the Orient whose population accounts for a quarter of the world total to enter the socialist society,(《北京周报》)

译文 2: We have creatively materialized the transformation from new democracy to socialism and established the basic system of socialism in an all-round waythus ushering in a socialist society in this big Oriental country with a population of a quarter of the worlds total.(《单行本》)

评析:《北京周报》译文中,enabling与其所修饰的不定式结构相隔13个动词,二者距离太远,增加了读者的阅读心理负担。《单行本》 译文将enabling变换作ushering in,其后紧跟实现的结果——a socialist society,并添加了一个小词thus,因果关系一目了然。

 

6.我们加强了基础设施建设。这是在加工工业生产能力过剩的情况下调整结构的必然选择,既可以消除基础设施的“瓶颈”制约, 又可以带动装备制造业等相关行业的发展。(《笔译实务》第122页)

We strengthened the infrastructure. This was an inevitable choice in readjusting the industrial structure when the processing industries had surplus capacityfor it has not only removed bottlenecks but also spurred growth in equipment manufacturing and other related industries.

评析:在上面译文中,两个语义衔接项an inevitable choice for相隔11个词,太远,这给读者看清它们之间的关系造成困难。为 使该长句更易懂,可以这样调整:When the processing industries had surplus capacitythis was an inevitable choice in readjusting the industrial structure, for it has not only… 这样 an inevitable choice for就只有五词之隔了。

本文由南宁言成翻译公司www.gxycfy.com整理发布。

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